U.S. retail sales rose unexpectedly in January, reversing a six-month decline. The Commerce Department attributes the 1 percent growth to a guy in South Carolina buying a bag of potato chips.

Scientists are keeping a close eye on orbital debris created when two communications satellites smashed into each other on Tuesday. Experts say the result could be almost as disturbing as the debris American TV networks transmit over their satellites every evening.

Two communications satellites collided Tuesday in an unprecedented orbital accident. Astronomers told reporters it happened 500 miles above Siberia. The mayor of Syracuse, NY immediately reacted by saying, "When will people stop making fun of us?"

Michelle Obama will appear on the cover of next month's Vogue magazine. Only one other first lady, Hillary Clinton, made the cover. Laura Bush is holding out 'til an I Married for Money magazine is created.

Charles Darwin was born 200 years ago today. A new survey shows that 63% of Americans reject his theory of evolution. They also believe that Bill O'Reilly has excellent manners and Barack Obama is a space alien.

Queen Elizabeth II is offering Internet-savvy subjects the option of applying for a job at her palace through her newly revamped Web site. Resumes submitted for the coveted jobs must be even more impressive than the Queen's: not blank.

Florida sheriff's deputies arrested a man who they say robbed a gas station, then drove off and ran out of gas nearby. The man faces charges of robbery with a weapon and loitering/prowling. He also is in negotiations for a syndicated radio talk show and a possible Republican vice-presidential run.

Clear Channel - America's largest radio station company - is reported to be edging closer to breaching its debt covenants. The firm owns and operates over 1200 stations, many of which program right-wing talkers like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Dr. Laura or formulaic, repetitive music. Clear Channel’s been hit hard by a drop in advertising revenues and competitors like Internet radio and the iPod. Public reaction has been swift: dancing in the streets will begin this evening at 7.

Satellite radio operator Sirius XM is expected to file for bankruptcy protection any day now. The company's notoriously confident CEO, Mel Karmazin, is said to be humbled by the experience. Reports say the new Sirius logo will picture their mascot dog peeing on his leg.

The Los Alamos nuclear weapons laboratory in New Mexico is missing 67 computers, including 13 that were lost or stolen in the past year. Experts say that as long as the units were running Windows Vista, it's no great loss.