Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Lady Gaga will release songs from her new album on FarmVille before they can be heard anywhere else. In much the same way cows "release" poo...
AP reports "A week after the death of Osama bin Laden, his longtime deputy is considered the front-runner to succeed the iconic al-Qaida founder." Sure, the internal candidate always gets the job.
Analysts say the purchase of Skype is a major departure from Microsoft's core business: annoying the heck out of people worldwide.
Microsoft expected to announce purchase of Skype in the next few hours. Microsoft expected to ruin Skype in the next few months.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Guy on BBC World Service talking about "Al Qaeda franchises." I'm thinkin' you'd be much better off with a Chipotle or Dunkin' Donuts.
Pakistan expresses regret that they didn't find bin Laden first, but says they are making great progress in locating that "Where's Waldo" guy.

Monday, January 24, 2011

AFP reports China has mandated that all schoolchildren undergo lessons on etiquette -- concerned over uncultured manners in one of the world's oldest civilizations. Response from the USA is expected as soon as reporters can find an American who isn't too busy burping and cussing.