Analysts say the purchase of Skype is a major departure from Microsoft's core business: annoying the heck out of people worldwide.

Microsoft expected to announce purchase of Skype in the next few hours. Microsoft expected to ruin Skype in the next few months.

Guy on BBC World Service talking about "Al Qaeda franchises." I'm thinkin' you'd be much better off with a Chipotle or Dunkin' Donuts.

Pakistan expresses regret that they didn't find bin Laden first, but says they are making great progress in locating that "Where's Waldo" guy.

AFP reports China has mandated that all schoolchildren undergo lessons on etiquette -- concerned over uncultured manners in one of the world's oldest civilizations. Response from the USA is expected as soon as reporters can find an American who isn't too busy burping and cussing.

Ivory Coast President Laurent Gbagbo did not win reelection on November 28th, but refuses to leave office. If he doesn't relinquish power soon, the UN is threatening to officially declare him "Rudy Giuliani."

In 2006, Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said she had classified information that China has "a strategic plan to take over America." The source, a takeout menu from a restaurant in Wilmington, revealed the takeover would be led by a General Tso, who thinks we are chicken.