India's 485 million head of livestock are burping, belching and excreting copious amounts of methane gas, contributing to global warming. Scientists say the dangers are almost as great as what right-wing talk radio hosts generate into the air every week.

Former Bush advisor Karl Rove called Joe Biden a “blowhard” and a “liar” in response to some of the vice president’s comments about the Bush administration. He would have said more, but he had to get back to listening to the Rush Limbaugh show.

President Obama will celebrate the first-ever Presidential Passover seder at the White House tonight. It will be a contemporary service: when they recite the 10 plagues, eight of them will be right-wing talk show hosts.

Fierce competition in the prepaid cellular market has prompted Virgin Mobile to lower it's rates. Virgin uses the Sprint network. Customers will save big in the 12 square miles nationwide where they can actually get a signal.

Britney Spears is apologizing to fans after smoky conditions at a concert in Vancouver, BC, led to a 30-minute delay in her show. Well, she didn't actually apologize, she just drooled and giggled a bit.

...Spears' publicist, Holly Shakoor, told reporters she'd much rather be a publicist for GM or AIG, but there are no jobs available.

Fishermen in the Philippines accidentally caught and later ate a megamouth shark, one of the rarest fishes in the world. In other news, Rush Limbaugh has canceled a planned visit to the Philippines.

Madonna has lost her bid to adopt a second child from Malawi. Her lawyer there says she is appealing. These days, he's probably the only person left on earth who thinks so.

Speaking at a town-hall style rally in Strasbourg, France, President Obama received thunderous cheers when he pledged to repair damaged relations with Europe. Looking up from his comic book in Texas, George W. Bush wondered how all those people got into the event without wearing shoes.

A judge in Malawi has rejected Madonna's request to adopt a child from the African nation. Observers believe this is the first time Madonna has heard the word "No" since the coddled celeb hit the charts in 1983.

Touch screens are all the rage at the CTIA, North America's largest cell phone trade show, running this week in Las Vegas. Vendors are touting new and impressive phones and features coming soon...unless, of course, your service is with Verizon, which is pretty darn happy with the same 12 phones it's made available since 2005.

The investigation into a nationwide salmonella scare over pistachio nuts has spread from a California nut processor to its sister plant on Long Island, where inspectors last month found cockroaches and rodent droppings. A company spokesman told reporters the plant is now spotless, saying customers can eat off the ground it is so spotless. Well, actually, he said it about "Your mother."

Seven students have been punished for violating the code of conduct at Oprah Winfrey's school for disadvantaged girls in South Africa. They will have to stay after class and try to find any difference from one issue of the Oprah magazine to the next.

After 72 years on the air, Guiding Light will broadcast its final episode on September 18th. And the Bauer family is still just as messed-up as it was back in 1937.