Richard Heene, who admitted orchestrating the balloon boy hoax, reported to jail Monday. In prison, he will finally realize his dream of being around a large group of people who are excited by how good his hair looks. Unfortunately, most of them will be real big guys called “Bubba.”

Lady Gaga has been named Creative Director for a specialty line of Polaroid products. It’s a huge expense for the once-great company. After every meeting she attends, execs who were also there have to burn their clothes.

…Marketing experts say the partnership will help the company appeal to younger demographics…and nauseate older ones.

…Sources report that prior to signing with the troubled company, the 23-year-old singer thought Polaroid was an itching problem Alaskans have.