On Thursday, disgraced financier Bernie Madoff is expected to enter a guilty plea and face the people he is accused of cheating. People from all around the country are expected to attend. This could be the first time Madoff hears the phrase "open up a can of whoop-ass."

Authorities say a former bookkeeper in California embezzled $9.9 million, forcing her company to make layoffs as she bought 400 pairs of shoes that she kept in a room-sized closet decorated with a crystal chandelier and a plasma television. When questioned on the subject, many Californians described the woman as "Way cool" and are calling for her to run for governor.

Microsoft will give PC users the option to turn off the company's own Internet Explorer Web browser in its new Windows 7 operating system. This after the browser has been turning off users for over a decade.

CNN medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta has withdrawn from consideration for the US surgeon general position. However, CNN financial correspondent Ali Velshi is in contention to replace the fast talking FedEx guy we all laugh at.