Kyrgyzstan is willing to negotiate a new deal allowing American troops to operate there. The story will not get much coverage in the USA. Most Americans don't know where Kyrgyzstan is. Or England. Or France. Or Canada.

Former first lady Barbara Bush was in good condition and resting comfortably Thursday following heart surgery. Doctors do not believe the condition can be inherited, especially since son George W. apparently has no heart.

Police say a 12-year-old Michigan boy was shot and killed when a gun being cleaned by his father went off. The NRA and its right-wing radio chorus immediately reacted by saying, "Guns don't kill people, dirty shmatas do."

Michael Jackson on Thursday announced a set of major London concerts -- which he called a "final curtain call." Jackson was more than 90 minutes late for the announcement that lasted about three minutes. It was not immediately clear if Jackson meant the concerts were his "curtain call" for London or the wider world, which nose he will be wearing for the concerts, or if he has the slightest idea that it's not 1982 anymore.

Scientists have found a new moon hidden in one of Saturn's dazzling outer rings. Upon learning of the news, many college freshmen from Long Island reacted by dropping their pants: "Y'wanna see a dazzling moon?"