The FBI is investigating a North Syracuse, NY magician's claim that he successfully shipped himself in a crate to Las Vegas via the United Parcel Service. If it is proven true, the magician will immediately be appointed to President Obama's budget team.

President Obama proposes merit pay for teachers, a concept educators strongly oppose. The White House is not expecting much of a fight. Most teachers are too busy getting kids to stop texting and checking Facebook.

Researchers in Boston say warmer weather and changes in atmospheric pressure may trigger headaches and migraines. And here we thought it was all those stupid TV shows.

A report in the journal Current Biology says an extensive study of a chimpanzee's belligerent, anti-social behavior proves that animals make plans. In a related story, Rush Limbaugh plans to talk about the president and the economy on today's show.

An extensive study of a chimpanzee's belligerent, anti-social behavior in a Zoo in Sweden proves that animals make plans. Now that the study has been completed, researchers have stopped playing ABBA songs in the chimp's cage.