President Obama has given up on appointing a special “car czar” to oversee the auto industry’s restructuring. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner will now be in charge. Upon hearing the news, instead of heading to DC in energy-efficient cars, the big three CEOs drove off a cliff.

Sean Penn announced Thursday that he will star in a movie about the life of Three Stooges member Larry Fine. The self-important star has begun working with three acting coaches to help him properly deliver the line "Nyuk, nyuk."

Sean Penn announced Thursday that he will star in a movie about the life of Three Stooges member Larry Fine. Upon learning of the news, hundreds of actors expressed a desire to audition for supporting roles and the opportunity to hit the temperamental actor over the head with a shovel.