Many Americans were unhappy after hearing Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner's new plans for handling the financial crisis. They said he wasn't decisive and forceful enough in his presentation. Alex Rodriguez immediately called to offer some medication he says can help.

More than 1,800 peanut products have been recalled in the wake of the salmonella outbreak. The Planters company says none of their products are involved, but their mascot, Mr. Peanut, has traded in his cane for a pair of crutches.

Girl-next-door hottie Jennifer Aniston celebrates her 40th birhtday today. She's back together with singer John Mayer, who reportedly wrote a song for her. Upon hearing this, men all over the world are singing their own song entitled "Blech."

The Muzak company has filed for Chapter 11 bakruptcy protection. Many of its biggest creditors are music companies that license the songs for use on Muzak playlists. To which every American born after 1952 responded "That was music?"

China’s national television network on Tuesday blamed an illegal fireworks display by its employees for igniting a blaze that destroyed a futuristic luxury hotel and theater. American observes say that's not nearly as destructive as what network executives here have done to our culture over the past few years.