Mail order pharmacy Express Scripts Inc. said Monday it is buying rival WellPoint NextRX for $4.8 billion. At least we think that's what's happening. Nobody outside the two companies was able to read the handwriting on the press release.

...activists immediately reminded the public that a similar corporate takeover in Canada would cost only $1.2 billion.

...in anticipation of a bad reaction, stockholders voted to start by breaking NetRX in half to see if it makes them nauseous.

The Jimmy Carter Visitor Center lost its Georgia state funding Tuesday due to budget cuts. Carter immediately accused the state of "tourism apartheid," scheduled a trip abroad, and began promoting a new book.

TMZ reports that Mel Gibson's wife Robyn will file to divorce Gibson. Every Jewish lawyer in North America is expected to hope for the opportunity to represent Mrs. Gibson.