Authorities in New Mexico are searching for answers to why heads and torsos have shown up in medical waste shipments from there. This as millions of Americans wonder how so many asses show up on talk radio every day.
President Obama met today with emergency workers in Massachusetts struggling against disastrous flooding in the state. Controversial Sen. Scott Brown hasn't yet met with the workers, but says he'll do anything he can to help; even give them the shirt off his back.
Lawyers for Michael Jackson's doctor are fighting to keep the California attorney general from suspending his medical license. Conrad Murray faces a manslaughter charge in the pop star's death, but - in his defense - attorneys are quick to remind everyone that he isn't the one responsible for Jackson's removable rubber noses, or the lyrics to "Rock With You."
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
House Republican leader John Boehner met with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today. In Hebrew, the word for "No" is pronounced as "Low," two concepts Boehner is well familiar with.
Hard Rock International has announced plans to build a $300 million casino-hotel on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. It will be in the shape of the odd hair clump on top of 'Jersey Shore' star Snooki's head.
Hard Rock International has announced plans to build a $300 million casino-hotel on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. It will be in the shape of the odd hair clump on top of 'Jersey Shore' star Snooki's head.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
In a new game show on French TV, contestants zap a man with electricity until he cries for mercy, then zap him again until he seems to drop dead. This type of broadcast torture really isn't new. Here in the USA, viewers of NBC and listeners to commercial radio have endured painful torture under the guise of entertainment for years.
On Sunday morning, thieves in Enfield, Connecticut cut a hole in the roof of a warehouse and stole $75 million worth of antidepressants and other prescription drugs.
...Experts say that many pills could almost fill the trunk of a Toyota Prius.
...Republican leaders in the Senate immediately pointed to this as proof that resourceful Americans can always get the medications they need, without government interference.
...Authorities believe the anti-depressants will end up sold by an online pharmacy, someone in South America or Asia. Or taken by the thieves themselves after sending out resumes for over a year and not being able to find work.
...Police say the heist was well thought out and done by people who are highly sophisticated, thus ruling out members of the Tea Party and Glenn Beck fans.
On Sunday morning, thieves in Enfield, Connecticut cut a hole in the roof of a warehouse and stole $75 million worth of antidepressants and other prescription drugs.
...Experts say that many pills could almost fill the trunk of a Toyota Prius.
...Republican leaders in the Senate immediately pointed to this as proof that resourceful Americans can always get the medications they need, without government interference.
...Authorities believe the anti-depressants will end up sold by an online pharmacy, someone in South America or Asia. Or taken by the thieves themselves after sending out resumes for over a year and not being able to find work.
...Police say the heist was well thought out and done by people who are highly sophisticated, thus ruling out members of the Tea Party and Glenn Beck fans.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Conan O'Brien has refused a 12:05 a.m. "Tonight Show" gig. It is reportedly the first time anyone has said "No" to NBC CEO Jeff Zucker since at least 1992.
......In a continued effort to keep costs down, Zucker is said to be considering a daily 10-11 p.m. reality show featuring Matt Lauer playing pop hits on a clarinet shoved up his ass.
......In a continued effort to keep costs down, Zucker is said to be considering a daily 10-11 p.m. reality show featuring Matt Lauer playing pop hits on a clarinet shoved up his ass.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Richard Heene, who admitted orchestrating the balloon boy hoax, reported to jail Monday. In prison, he will finally realize his dream of being around a large group of people who are excited by how good his hair looks. Unfortunately, most of them will be real big guys called “Bubba.”
Lady Gaga has been named Creative Director for a specialty line of Polaroid products. It’s a huge expense for the once-great company. After every meeting she attends, execs who were also there have to burn their clothes.
…Marketing experts say the partnership will help the company appeal to younger demographics…and nauseate older ones.
…Sources report that prior to signing with the troubled company, the 23-year-old singer thought Polaroid was an itching problem Alaskans have.
Lady Gaga has been named Creative Director for a specialty line of Polaroid products. It’s a huge expense for the once-great company. After every meeting she attends, execs who were also there have to burn their clothes.
…Marketing experts say the partnership will help the company appeal to younger demographics…and nauseate older ones.
…Sources report that prior to signing with the troubled company, the 23-year-old singer thought Polaroid was an itching problem Alaskans have.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Art Clokey, creator of Gumby has died. The cartoon and toy sensation was popular in a simpler, more innocent time. Nowadays, media and marketing provide us with with much more to get bent out of shape about.
Senator Harry Reid has apologized for calling President Obama a "light-skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." Sources say Reid realized it was the right thing to do last weekend, as he welcomed the arrival of a new year: 1964.
Senator Harry Reid has apologized for calling President Obama a "light-skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." Sources say Reid realized it was the right thing to do last weekend, as he welcomed the arrival of a new year: 1964.
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